so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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