Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
