I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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