apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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