new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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