Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
