He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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