who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i out mim tonsoeep
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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