East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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