Duck Duck Cougar?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
