I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
