The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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