I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You can't motorboat a personality
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
