Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize