Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Randomize
