On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Farmville is her only friend.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
