It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
