you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
