Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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