think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
