Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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