The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
