yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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