butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
