this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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