Little spoons don't ask big questions
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
