drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
