so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
