No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's never too late to be topless.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
