Even the bartender felt bad for me
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
