it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
