Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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