You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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