Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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