His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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