She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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