this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
