you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
