I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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