Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
