I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
