whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
