so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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