Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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