he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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