i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
