Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
