i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
