i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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