Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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