Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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