It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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