he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize