I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
