i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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