Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
