Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
