I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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