I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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