I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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