i barfeds in our rink
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
