A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You may now shotgun with the bride
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
