haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
