Swine flu. Run for my life!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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