I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We are all done wearing pants today
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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