i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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