PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
