my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
