I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
