thus making me awesome and them whores
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
