What did we do last night that was yellow?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
