i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize