apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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