he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
