We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
