belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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