They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
